You are dope! But do you know it?
A better question is: do you admit to it?
This weekend my hubby, Kevin, gave me a compliment about how smart I am. I immediately started to deflect.
“Actually, I just did a lot of research.”
“Something similar came up for work, so I leveraged that.”
Blah, blah, blah.
In that moment, I noticed (and he reminded me) that I’m super dope, but am sometimes afraid to take ownership of it when others recognize it.
How about you?
Has someone given you a compliment and you completely downplayed it?
Friend: “I love your dress.”
You: “Oh, this old thing?”
Has your boss commended you on a job well done on a project at work and you shifted the attention to your team?
I think we fear that we’ll be viewed as prideful, arrogant, or conceited if we admit that “yeah, I am amazing and I DID THAT.” In an effort to not appear full of ourselves, we start playing small.
Self-confidence is attractive — both in relationships and in the workplace. You can know your worth, own it, and still be viewed as humble.
I’m reminded of the words of Marianne Williamson from her book “A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of ‘A Course in Miracles'”:
We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.
Here’s a simple fix. When someone compliments or commends you, just say “thank you”. No deflection, no added words.
Now, go serve the world.